![\"\"](\"https:\/\/bsu-wpe-blogs.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/25\/2021\/04\/12185703\/unnamed-1-300x200.jpg\")
<\/p>\nNote: The following content may be triggering and be considered sensitive content to some readers. This is a trigger warning to let you know that if you are uncomfortable surrounding topics of eating disorders, you may not want to read these poems.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Hungry<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to eat<\/p>\n
Because<\/p>\n
I want my stomach to shrink<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
That is not a hard concept to understand.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You know how they say,<\/p>\n
\u201cSkip dinner, wake up thinner\u201d and<\/p>\n
\u201cHunger hurts, but starving works?\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh, you don\u2019t?<\/p>\n
Well, now you do.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I wish I had that kind of self-control.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
All I want is to be small<\/p>\n
Dainty<\/p>\n
Petite<\/p>\n
Easily able to be picked up.<\/p>\n
Why is that too much to ask?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My girlfriend,<\/p>\n
Well, at the time,<\/p>\n
She would say I was perfect.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I never did,<\/p>\n
And still do not,<\/p>\n
See it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The perfect one was obviously not me.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I thought to myself,<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, she probably doesn\u2019t mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I am so hungry<\/p>\n
I love food too much though<\/p>\n
If I start eating,<\/p>\n
I fear I won\u2019t stop,<\/p>\n
So, I must resist.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When Fiona Apple said,
\n\u201cMy hands are too shaky to hold,\u201d<\/p>\n
I held up my own hands to the light to see if mine were too,<\/p>\n
Damn, do I feel that.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
That is not me<\/p>\n
That is someone else<\/p>\n
That girl<\/p>\n
Cannot be me.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the list of random phrases, <\/strong><\/p>\n a sad girl wrote of food <\/strong><\/p>\n in other contexts <\/strong><\/p>\n and not just consumption. <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n On a list,<\/p>\n I wrote,<\/p>\n A number and then<\/p>\n A thought.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Here are some examples:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019m dying of starvation.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t worry, that is just an exaggeration.<\/p>\n I am only hungry for love and comfort.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Next,<\/p>\n Now this was written long ago too,<\/p>\n I am not the old me<\/p>\n So, don\u2019t worry about me.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I wrote,<\/p>\n Years ago,<\/p>\n Of how<\/p>\n \u201cI purged yesterday,<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know why exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I hadn\u2019t purged since the September prior,<\/p>\n Which was before this last September,<\/p>\n And maybe even the one before that.<\/p>\n September is always a bad month for me.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t call you,<\/p>\n But I had no one else to call,<\/p>\n So, I gave in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The you then is different than the you now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I binged really bad that day,<\/p>\n I binged too hard,<\/p>\n Eating isn\u2019t supposed to hurt,<\/p>\n Oh, but baby it did.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I wrote of how,<\/p>\n \u201cI needed it out of me\u201d and<\/p>\n \u201cI hope you can understand\u201d and<\/p>\n \u201cIt was unsuccessful\u201d and<\/p>\n I waited too long<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t even get out half of it<\/p>\n It hurt coming up<\/p>\n I could feel my teeth decaying all at once.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I remember wanting your help,<\/p>\n Why would I ever ask that,<\/p>\n I remember thinking,<\/p>\n \u201cI really need to figure it out again,\u201d<\/p>\n I wrote of this,<\/p>\n But crossed it out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I finished with<\/p>\n \u201cI hope I don\u2019t spiral into addiction again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ha,<\/p>\n That\u2019s a funny joke.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I did then,<\/p>\n But I am better now,<\/p>\n So don\u2019t worry now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I also wrote of my brain turning to liquid.<\/p>\n I also spoke of my body turning to soup.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The end.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pieces of who I used to be<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Anorexia culture<\/p>\n Diet culture<\/p>\n Food culture<\/p>\n It\u2019s all the same.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I say I am recovered<\/p>\n Because I am<\/p>\n Right?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What is starving?<\/p>\n Purging?<\/p>\n Dieting?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dieting equals starving<\/p>\n Restriction is the same<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I love food<\/p>\n It isn\u2019t that I don\u2019t<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The problem is<\/p>\n That I want to be small<\/p>\n Skinny<\/p>\n And skinny girls don\u2019t eat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fiona Apple once said, But starving works,<\/p>\n When It costs too much to love.\u201d<\/p>\n And nothing has ever been truer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Kate Moss once said,<\/p>\n \u201cNothing tastes as good as skinny feels.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And I say this,<\/p>\n Someday, This will either kill you<\/p>\n Or forever break you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Remember: if you aren\u2019t recovering,<\/p>\n You are dying.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n That is a fact.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the adventures of me and my microwave<\/strong><\/p>\n I set off to create a Green Tea Latte.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s a funny story.<\/p>\n The other day,<\/p>\n I tried to make tea,<\/p>\n A green tea latte specifically.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fast forward to when I removed said latte from the microwave,<\/p>\n It smelled like mac and cheese,<\/p>\n And there was no mac and cheese,<\/p>\n Anywhere in sight,<\/p>\n Only a greenish-whiteish liquid<\/p>\n in a mug<\/p>\n that smelled like the<\/p>\n orange powder characteristic of<\/p>\n Kraft.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t drink it,<\/p>\n I tried though,<\/p>\n I always try.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And while I know,<\/p>\n The world is not my oyster,<\/p>\n I must add that<\/p>\n if you bought me a shirt that said,<\/p>\n \u201ccheap thrills\u201d<\/p>\n I would wear it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n To Taste \u2013 a poem<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Taste something yummy,<\/p>\n Remember to Eat Slowly,<\/p>\n It is not a race until the end.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hold on to the strong flavors,<\/p>\n Let them linger on your tongue.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eat something healthy too,<\/p>\n Something that your body needs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nostalgic flavors,<\/p>\n Are the ones to be careful of,<\/p>\n There is no need to fear them,<\/p>\n But awareness is key.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And of course,<\/p>\n Warm drinks on cold days,<\/p>\n Are pleasure in a mug.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n About the Author:<\/strong> My name is Lauren Szymczak and I am a sophomore at Ball State University. I am currently majoring in Psychological Science and Women and Gender Studies and I am minoring in Interpersonal Relations and Creative Writing. I like eating food and sleeping in my free time and I spend most of my time overthinking about everything. I do consider myself a poet, even though I only have one other published poem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Note: The following content may be triggering and be considered sensitive content to some readers. This is a trigger warning to let you know that if you are uncomfortable surrounding topics of eating disorders, you may not want to read these poems. Hungry I don\u2019t want to eat Because I want my stomach to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":57,"featured_media":2264,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[72,63,2,582,573,621,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dlr-creative-writing","category-entertainment-media","category-featured","category-food","category-issue-8-food-studies","category-poetry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
\n\u201cHunger hurts<\/p>\n